Monday, 23 July 2007

New Orleans - July 22nd Evening Beads

Finally figured out what the beads are for in New Orleans!

T'was a crazy night, Bourbon started filling up around 10:00pm with drunken party animals. Here's 3 who showed up in front of our balcony and of course we had to reward them with.....BEADS!

Sunday, 22 July 2007

Maximum Zanieness on Bourbon

A couple of motorcycle clubs descended in the strip right outside my hotel's balcony this afternoon. All kinds of pepped up Japanese bike, almost all of them customized to one degree or another. The riders decked out in their club vests. Must be like 50 - 75 bikes out there, lining both sides of a one way street. Traffic just barely able to squeak through at a snail's pace cause you don't wanna hit a bike when surrounded by 50+ bikes who obviously take this shit seriously.

Accross the street there's one of the many Bourbon St. strip joints. This one advertising "Topless & Bottomless" not that you wouldn't see something similar along Yonge St back home. But here, the "entertainers" occasionally come out for a smoke and it's rather distracting.

Music is blaring loud, a cacaphony of Jazz, Blues, Creole from neighboring stores & bars all trying to out N'Oleans the other. Actually, there's two really good bars with bands playing. One with Jazz that would make an afficianado proud but also a really good blues band playing live.

You can tell this place is tourist central in this city. No wonder when you consider that this district was one of the first things to be seriously rebuilt after Katrina.

The hotel I'm staying in is interesting in it's own right. Built from the "Old Opera House" that was erected in the 1800's, it's a mixture of modern furnitue in the rooms and classical furniture. You walk in and look at the enclosed patio/swimming pool, dining room or seating area off the lobby and you'd think you were in Paris and yet there's HBO on tv in your room.

Between the mix of blaring music, the crowds starting to build, the zanieness of the tourists sporting beads, strippers on the street taking a break, stores selling trinkets & the number of bars, this place is a hedonist's paradise.

Time to explore!!

New Orleans - July 22nd Early PM

Sunday, 15 July 2007

More Stupid Funny *&^%

Reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in our jobs:

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form,and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.
Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS ' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly riht, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
And the best one for last..................
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

Funniest damn comment on Facebook yet !!

Facebook: I Love to Hate You

Date: 2007-06-30, 2:18PM EDT

Saw this on Facebook and thought I'd share.....enjoy......

Dear Facebook,

I love the way you have connected me with old friends from high school and I love the way you allow my friends to keep me up to date the with the weekends activities. Ever since I signed up for you I am no longer a social misfit but a prima donna in the world of drunken cottaging and the Queen of Underground Karaoke parties at the Bytown.

But facebook, there are a few issues that we need to resolve in order to maintain a healthy relationship.

First of all, you allow people from high school that I've never even spoken to add me as their friend. I dont know them other than the fact that we were apparently in the same homeroom together in grade 9 before I got the braces off. Its creepy that they remember the overalls and the plaid raincoat I was wearing the first day of high school. Please do not allow these people to seek me out.

Secondly Facebook you've now allowed not one, but TWO ex boyfriends to seek me out and attempt to add me as their "friend". We are not friends. We broke up because one was banging groupies while touring with the Matthew Good Band and the other was nailing his boss in the Royal Oak's beer room. These are not friends, these are men who couldn't keep their dicks in their pants and I wish them nothing but the most degenerate veneral diseases whores like that can come by.

Facebook, I have also become addicted to you to the point where I display withdrawl symptoms if I am away from you for longer than a couple hours at a time. If Im working I break out into a cold sweat wondering who's added me, who's messaged me and what party invites am I missing. If I go longer than a day without checking you I almost seizure. You are worse than heroin.

Facebook you have also gotten me into trouble by allowing me to log on completely shit faced to the point where Ive spilled my poutine all over my laptop. As you already know, drunken Facebooking is considerably worse than drunk dialing. I can deny calling people on purpose when Im loaded I cannot however deny writing self sabatoging messages on peoples walls and telling a booty call how much I enjoyed his throbbing cock last week on his comment page. Please do not let me log onto you when I am this drunk, clearly Im not thinking properly and the Jager-demon has possessed my body / mind.

As well Facebook please stop with the fortune cookies, hugs, smilies, horoscopes, "which family guy character are you" quizzes and other inane bullshit that I must weed through evetytime I log on. Seriously, its annoying and it must stop.

Now Facebook, Im not trying to bring you down, I do love you, I just think we need to communicate with each other to remedy these paticular issues. Especially the drunk one, Sara is still not talking to me. If we can set aside our differences you'll see that we are a match made in virtual Heaven.


  • Location: the internet, Ottawa
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 363794217

Saturday, 14 July 2007

June 16th 2007

Attended the wedding of some family friends almost a month ago.

What a blast and what a true reflection of exactly what a wedding should be. A celebration, not a formal "funeral like procession" where everyone dresses up like penguins or peacocks but instead where everyone is themselves (with a few beers added for company).

Held in a small resort in what has to be one of the most beautiful parts of this province I've ever been to. It was a sunset wedding, with the water glimmering, the ceremony genuine and the gathering simply sincere. Old friends, new ones and the couple radiant in their Mardi-Gras attire.

Such a departure from what I've been to in the past, and as I told the bride, best damn wedding I've been to...period....Plus, I am friends with both groom & bride and that it's nice to see people connect who SHOULD.

Lets lay the groundwork....
1. Set up the tent outside near the water where the theme was Mardis Gras. So beads, beer & an incredible sense of family amongst people who a few hours ago didn't know each other.

2. MANY beverages are consumed by all.

3. Fireworks (over an hour's worth) shot into the sky, the water, the tent & ultimately the crowd & cottages. Note to self: Alcohol, Explosives and a drunken crowd make for FANTASTIC memories. I loved that night!

4. Hangover morning. Recover from #3 above

5. Wedding Day !!
Ceremony held by a shimmering lake at sunset. Pics galore!
Dinner with a certain N'Oleans flair..Lotsa yummies with lotsa music, dancing, foolishness & friends

6. 7:00am: Coffee for the men who've signed up for golf (sunny & HOT)....Margarita's for the ladies in the sun (sunny, windy & HOT)

7. Golf over, I'm humiliated by coming in last but hey...(Greg..did I mention I'm actually getting better ?)

8. Teary goodbyes, but knowing we'll see eachother soon