We're voting for what ? A reader's digest version of political double-talk and babble.

Canadians go to the polls on Monday to elect a new government. Based on what I've read and heard over the last 5 weeks of campaigning it would seem that the Conservative Party is on track to once again be the majority party but this time with an NDP (New Democrat Party) led opposition. So sorry Steven, no majority for you and sorry Iggy, not PM title for you. Instead, it'll be smilin' Jack Layton of the NDP who gets to scream & yell on our collective behalf at the Conservatives.

Now a few things pop into my mind as the date approaches. Specifically, if 1 in 3 Canadians is anti-Harper, how in the hell can he still be our PM. I understand the electoral logic "blah blah blah" but come on. He was our minority PM for the last 5 years and he's IMHO dragged Canada downhill yet somehow he's going to get his old job back ? I understand that there's a lot of people who would argue that he's in fact done great things for our country but hey, this is my blog and they're all friggin' idiots.

Harper seems to have absolutely no respect for the urbanites of our country, has no respect for anyone east of Alberta, has no respect for the rule of our Supreme Court, has no respect for our democratic institutions like ohhh....Parliment and he obviously has no respect for the opposition's right to oppose, ask questions and expect answers. Yet somehow Stephen Harper, the dark overlord of the Sith is likely to get to keep his job. His corrupt and secretive cabal of insiders (I'm looking at you Senate and Cabinet) are going to get to keep their jobs and the tax breaks for the wealthy & corporations will continue while the rest of Canada adjusts their diets to water, gruel and cans of tuna.

Not to mention Harper's insistence that he's done absolutely nothing wrong by our country. Alienating our colleagues in the UN where we've NEVER been denied a rotating seat on the Security Council until HE came along. This pompous, arrogant, rich mamma's boy gladly spent $1 Billion dollars on a weekend party with his global cronies, had arrested anyone who complained about it, denied that the money was mis-spent on things like $2 Million dollar ponds and $250k gazebos and then when asked to account for where the money was spent and what benefits we Canadians would reap, told us all to basically suck it.

I think it's clear that I'm not a fan of our esteemed Conservative Leader. The sad thing is that I could spout some venom about his opponents as well.

Ignatief is a whiny academic who has the charisma of a turd and is behaving like the proverbial whiny little brat who's being denied the toy he really, really wants but he promises he'll be good from now on and if only we could all see the fact that he really is meant to be PM because, well.....just cause. I mean don't we know by now that the Liberal Party did great things back when moses was a babe and Ignatief is the ONLY one who can make it all better ? To hear him talk, every other party is crap, he's the only one who speaks for Canada and we should all just give him the job cause he's...well...he's not the other guy ?

Layton, well, Jack's an ok kinda guy but....He want's to be everybody's pal. Got an itch ? Jack'll scratch it for ya. Got a social cause that needs funding ? Jack'll fund it. Lofty aspirations and if we had the money, I'd be all for Jack's giving us all what we wanted but problem is, Jack can't seem to add. If we were to try actually paying for half the shit that Jack's promising then we'd make the current Greek economic crisis look like lollapalooza. Jack, I'd love to live in your socialist, everything's for free, open arms and kumbaya singing utopia but where's the money coming from ? Cap & Trade isn't even in place and yet Jack seems to think that it'll fund everything he's promising including getting grandma's dentures plated in gold, but c'mon Jack, you're moving up to the big league, time to stop playing with crayons & look at the numbers a bit more realistically.

So in the end, as a Canadian I'm left with 3 choices on May 2.
1. Darth Vader and the corporate oligarchy he wants to put in place. The man who would sell your sould to the corporations cause hey, they promise to create jobs (and fund his retirement)
2. The whiny "it's mine, it's mine, it's mine....waaaaa" sniveling academic who's only argument is that he's not the other guy
3. The smiling used car salesman who means well and is only asking to borrow your credit card to pay for it all

Some choice. I wonder if it's too late to throw my hat in the ring ?