Zombieland for real ?

Are you shit'n me ? Seriously ? This quote from the Miami Herald caught my eye and I couldn't believe it !!

Meanwhile, on the mainland side of the causeway, allegedly the quiet side this weekend, a naked man was shot to death by police after he was found chewing on another man’s face.

Here's the full article but man-ohhh-man.

Wild weekend: party on the Beach, police shooting on mainland

 

Police knew it would be a memorable Saturday. Little did they know how memorable.

Rashanti Le, left, and Tiffany Spencer, right, of Washington, D.C., at the intersection of Collins Avenue and 11th Street at Miami Beach on Saturday, May 26, 2012. Urban Beach Weekend is a large Hip Hop festival. Tessa Lighty / Miami Herald Staff

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BY DAVID SMILEY, LUISA YANEZ AND JULIE K. BROWN

JBROWN@MIAMIHERALD.COM

The scene in South Florida was surreal Saturday.

On one side of the MacArthur Causeway, the side where police had braced for trouble, scantily clad men and women poured beer and testosterone into the streets, cafes and clubs, while thumping to the loud, restless beats of South Beach.

Meanwhile, on the mainland side of the causeway, allegedly the quiet side this weekend, a naked man was shot to death by police after he was found chewing on another man’s face.

Under the hot sun Saturday in South Beach, long before the nighttime partying began, revelers took videos, posed for photographs and sipped basketball-sized cocktails, strolling Ocean Drive for the annual hip-hop/rap extravaganza known as Urban Beach Week. The event, which traditionally draws upward of 250,000 people from all over the country and from all walks of life, is known as much for its over-the-top fun as it is for its music and celebrity mix.

Ladies in bikinis, fishnet dresses and barely-there bra tops strolled in throngs (and thongs), some of them daring enough to wear spiked heels. Men with low-riding shorts and jeans mingled on the strip, talking game and getting turned away more often than not.

Police presence was heavy but relaxed. There were officers on golf carts, bikes and atop viewing towers. Throughout the day there were several arrests for minor offenses. Those detained were processed in a state-of-the-art police mobile unit set up on Ocean Drive.

Despite rumors that Beach cops had an arrest quota of 2,000 people per day, there were only 93 arrests Friday. Ironically, though South Beach residents braced for possible chaos as in year’s past, the bloodshed was miles away in Miami Saturday afternoon.

It was there, across the McArthur Causeway, just south of The Miami Herald building, that a naked man attacked another man and allegedly began eating the victim’s face. A woman who saw what was happening first flagged down a Miami Herald security guard, then a Miami police officer who happened by.

Police said the officer approached the naked man, ordered him to step away and when he continued to chew the man’s face, the officer shot him dead. The victim was rushed to the hospital, where he was in critical condition Saturday.

The incident made driving east on the Causeway a traffic nightmare, but the party went on despite weeks of buildup that focused mostly on an intense crowd and traffic enforcement plan that included altering South Beach traffic into a one-way loop and closing the eastbound MacArthur Causeway to one lane.

Though the crowd was thinner than year’s past, it was no less risqué.

“I love sex! I just can’t get enough!” bachelorette Yvonne Sosa, condoms dangling from her veil, shouted into Reginald Allison’s megaphone just after midnight Saturday.

Sosa, dressed in white, was in town from Nebraska, a lawyer getting married in a month partying on along with a half dozen friends, family, and legal clerks and secretaries at the law firm where she works.

Allison, a Morehouse College graduate from Atlanta, was promoting a party bus roving South Beach from 2 p.m. to 2 a.m.

The two converged at 11th Street and Ocean Drive for a classic about-to-be-married moment during a weekend known for raucous parties.

But Allison said raucous isn’t the word that comes to mind.

“It’s real chill,” said Allison, who said he bought the megaphone at a store on Biscayne Boulevard.

It’s unclear just how many people were in South Beach’s entertainment district Saturday night, hours before massing inside the clubs. On Collins Avenue, foot traffic was light but cars were packed bumper to bumper. Two men in a baby-blue, 1964 Chevrolet Impala convertible rolled north amid rented motorcycles and Dodge Caravans, while Bentleys, Lamborghinis and a purple sedan with Barney the dinosaur detailed on the side rolled south down Washington Avenue.

That was before the lime green Laffy Taffy ride hit Washington.

Cars blared everything from Tupac and Jay Z and Kanye West to Marvin Gaye, and rolled slowly in one-way loops, implemented Friday, nearly one year after police say a driver refused to stop and then tried to run over several cops, leading to a shootout on the street that killed the driver and wounded four bystanders.

With this weekend the one-year anniversary, much of the media attention around the annual street and club parties focused on police.

But the news of shooting and a police crackdown didn’t reach Nebraska, or New Jersey, or London, where Shereyne Shillingford and eight friends came from for their own bachelorette party.

“We were going to come last week and we moved our flight at the last minute” to be on South Beach for Urban Beach Week, she said.

Over on Washington Avenue, a few storefronts from Mansion, Jimmy Slauson and a buddy burned blunts of pot down to the nub. Cops were swarming the area, but they said they weren’t concerned about police.

“We’re not really trying to test the cops,” said Slauson, from New Jersey, before an officer walked up.

He tossed the blunt.

Keshha Hakelison, 36, of Gainesville, has been coming to Urban Beach Week for the past 10 years.

She said the increased police presence was disturbing.

“This year it changed drastically because of the police. I feel like they are overdoing their protectiveness. I understand they are supposed to protect and serve but I really feel like they are trying to knock everybody’s opportunity to have fun.”

Hakelison said she liked to come to get away without having to spend a lot of money by going to another state. And she enjoys the camaraderie.

“It’s entertainment,’’ she said. “I love it. I love to see my sisters and brothers come together, embrace each other. Just where we can see each other in different shapes, sizes, colors. Just to enjoy being around each other, partying together and having a good time."

So far, the arrest of New York Knicks’ guard J.R. Smith, and a shooting in which no one was injured at 12th Street and Collins Avenue Thursday night, remain the rockiest parts of the beachside weekend.

“It’s pretty quiet, right?” said Miami Beach Commissioner Ed Tobin, a police academy graduate who has been a critic of the event.

Unofficial occupancy figures compiled by the Greater Miami Convention & Visitors Bureau show that Miami Beach hotels were just 65 percent full Thursday, compared to 67 percent on the same day last year.

Local business were mixed.

On Saturday, restaurant hostesses aggressively tried to attract customers into their eateries.

Some restaurants were offering deals almost half off normal South Beach prices. Appetizers for $3.99, a steak meal for $25 and a lobster tail and shrimp dinner for $35.

All restaurants along Ocean Drive were surrounded by metal barricades to control crowds, but the cash registers were not ringing like last year.

“It used to be like bumping into people,’’ observed Charlotte Smith, who has been an attendee since 2000. “There’s not enough eye candy for us to look at and flirt with, said Jessica Reynolds from Fort Pierce.

Miami Herald writers Carissa Harris, David Ovalle, Daniela Guzman, Kate Howard and Margaux Herrera contributed to this report.

Great Advertising

12 Most Embarrassing Ads

Published on Today 4/29/2012 under Cool Ads - by Gracie Murano

A little too close to reality. (Link)

No more living in denial about the size of your waist line, thanks to this fantastic, albeit terrifying, guerrilla marketing initiative from the health club chain, Fitness First. Unsuspecting commuters in the Netherlands are faced with viewing their body weight in bright lights - quite literally - when they take a seat at this Rotterdam bus stop. Scary, to say the very least, but extraordinarily clever, and likely to increase membership numbers at the local Fitness First. The brainchild of Netherlands' agency N=5, the initiative takes the concept of guerilla marketing to a whole new level. (Link)

The best helpers are ones that you don't have to pay. The Canadian ad agency Rethink makes good use of bald commuters on rapid transit trains by exposing their heads for all to see.

VIP Gym thought images of a flabby, cellulite-ridden butt topped with a pair of love handles would be enough to make people want to "get up and run." Glued to chairs in restaurants and cafes, the poster gives you the uncomfortable feeling that you're seeing way more of strangers than you would like. (Via)

When costumers bend to read the little text it says:

"At this moment, you bum is completely exposed. If it were in a sexy pair of jeans, it would attract attention all the time!"

Okay, it isn't a promotional product, but it is a clever way to make a poster interactive. The poster is purposely mounted so it droops over itself. When a curious passerby lifts it up, their personal smell is called into question. They get props for being funny, and for making a simple piece of paper into an interactive ad. (Link)

A Coca Cola Guerrilla Marketing Magnet Ad to promote Coca Cola's grip bottles. The ad places magnets behind the billboard so when passersby stand too close with metal in their pockets, they are magically attracted to the ad. (Link)

Condomi Erotic Shopping Bag. Advertising Agency: Draft FCB Kobza, Vienna, Austria (Link)

This guerrilla ad campaign wouldn't stand a chance of flying in the US.

This man doesn't look too happy to be in the ad. (Link)

A floating afro sits at head-level behind a bus stop seat, just at the right height to make it look like anyone who sits there has quite an impressive head of hair. This poster by ‘Real Hip Hop' is definitely an eye-catcher. (Link)

A huge interactive light box was mounted in the Seoul Sindorim Subway Station, the entrance way to a multiplex electronics shopping mall where various brands compete. Over 500,000 commuters use the station daily, making it the perfect place for an ad like this. Huddled together as if at a premiere, the paparazzi appear to be jostling and competing for the best celebrity shot. The celebrities, however, are the ones walking by; they automatically trigger a deluge of flashing camera lights. The accidental superstars then follow the red carpet all the way out of the station and into a mall, where there's a Nikon shop conveniently located inside.

If I were shy, I wouldn't be too happy about passing by this ad. (Link)

Programming Languages are Like Women

There are so many programming languages available that it can be 
very  difficult to get to know them all well enough to pick the 
right one for you.  On the other hand most men know what kind of 
woman appeals to them. So here  is a handy guide for many of the 
popular programming languages that describes  what kind of women 
they would be if programming languages were women.

 Assembler - A female track star who holds all the world speed 
records.  She  is hard and bumpy, and so is not that pleasant to 
embrace.  She can cook up  any meal, but needs a complete and 
detailed recipe.  She is not beautiful or  educated, and speaks in 
monosyllables like "MOV, JUMP, INC".  She has a  fierce and 
violent temper that make her the choice of last resort.

 FORTRAN - Your grey-haired grandmother.  People make fun of her 
just because  she is old, but if you take the time to listen, you 
can learn from her  experiences and her mistakes.  During her 
lifetime she has acquired many  useful skills in sewing and 
cooking (subroutine libraries) That no younger  women can match, 
so be thankful she is still around.  She has a notoriously  bad 
temper and when angered will start yelling and throwing dishes.  
It was  mostly her bad temper that made grandad search for another 
wife.

 COBOL - A plump secretary.  She talks far too much, and most of 
what she says  can be ignored.  She works hard and long hours, but 
can't handle really  complicated jobs.  She has a short and 
unpredictable temper, so no one really  likes working with her.  
She can cook meals for a huge family, but only knows  bland 
recipes.

 BASIC - The horny divorcee that lives next door.  Her specialty 
is seducing  young boys and it seems she is always readily 
available for them.  She  teaches them many amazing things, or at 
least they seem amazing because it is  their first experience.  
She is not that young herself, but because she was  their first 
lover the boys always remember her fondly.  Her cooking and  
sewing skills are mediocre, but largely irrelevant, it's the 
frolicking that  the boys like.  The opinion that adults have of 
Mrs.  BASIC is varied.  Shockingly, some fathers actually 
introduce their own sons to this immoral  woman!  But generally 
the more righteous adults try to correct the badly  influenced 
young men by introducing them to well behaved women like Miss  
Pascal.

 PL/I - A bordello madam.  She wears silk dresses, diamonds, furs 
and red high  heels.  At one time she seemed very attractive, but 
now she just seems  overweight and tacky.  Tastes change.

 C - A lady executive.  An avid jogger, very healthy, and not too 
talkative.  Is an good cook if you like spicy food.  Unless you 
double check everything  you say (through LINT) you can unleash 
her fierce temper.  Her daughter C++  is still quite young and 
prone to tantrums, but it seems that she will grow  up into a fine 
young woman of milder temper and more sophisticated character.

 ALGOL 60 - Your father's wartime sweetheart, petite, well 
proportioned, and  sweet tempered.  She disappeared mysteriously 
during the war, but your dad  still talks about her shapely form 
and their steamy romance.  He never  actually tasted much of her 
cooking.

 Pascal - A grammar school teacher, and Algol 60's younger sister.  
Like her  sister she is petite and attractive, but very bossy.  
She is a good cook but  only if the recipe requires no more than 
one pot (module).

 Modula II - A high-school teacher and Pascal's daughter.  Very 
much like her  mother, but she has learned to cook with more than 
one pot.

 ALGOL 68 - Algol 60's niece.  A high-society woman, well educated 
and terse.  Few men can fully understand her when she talks, and 
her former lovers still  discuss her mysterious personality.  She 
is very choosy about her romances  and won't take just any man as 
her lover.  She hasn't been seen lately, and  rumor has it that 
she died in a fall from an ivory tower.

 LISP - She is an aging beatnik, who lives in a rural commune with 
her hippie  cousins SMALLTALK and FORTH.  Many men (mostly college 
students) who have visited the farmhouse,-- enthusiastically 
praise the natural food, and perpetual love-ins that take place 
there.  Others criticize the long cooking times, and the abnormal 
sexual postures (prefix and postfix). Although these women seldom 
have full-time jobs, when they do work, their employers praise 
them for their imagination, but usually not for their efficiency. 

APL - A fancy caterer specializing in Greek food.  She can cook 
delicious meals for rows and rows of tables with dozens of people 
at each table.  She doesn't talk much, as that would just slow her 
work down.  Few people can understand her recipes, since they are 
in a foreign language, and are all recorded in mirror writing.

LOGO - A grade-school art teacher.  She is just the kind of 
teacher that you wish you had when you were young.  She is shapely 
and patient, but not an interesting conversationalist.  She can 
cook up delicious kiddie snacks, but not full-course meals.

LUCID & PROLOG - These clever teenagers show a new kind of cooking 
skill. They can cook-up fine meals without the use of recipes, 
working solely from a description of the desired meal (declarative 
cooking).  Many men are fascinated by this and have already 
proposed marriage.  Others complain that the girls work very 
slowly, and that often the description of the meal must be just as 
long as a recipe would be.  It is hard to predict what these girls 
will be like when they are fully mature.

Ada - A WAC colonel built like an amazon.  She is always setting 
strict rules, but if you follow them, she keeps her temper.  She 
is quite talkative, always spouting army regulations, and using 
obscure military talk.  You gotta love her though, because the 
army says so.